Don’t Yell At Me

I’m broken. I yell too much. I get frustrated too much. I say stupid and hurtful things. I often feel like a failure; both as a wife and a parent. 

Yesterday was clash of the titans trying to get out the door for school. I lost my cool. I may have “asked” a little too loudly and forcefully for her to put her shoes on. She cried those big, sad tears and yelled back “don’t yell at me.” My heart broke. I had hurt my baby girl. I lost my temper and now she’s paying the price. 

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit – Proverbs 18:21

As I meditate on this passage, I’m reminded more than anything else, my words are life-giving or life-taking. Yesterday was not the first time I let my tongue slip. In fact, almost everyday I feel guilt in the words I chose. I hate it. It brings shame, which the enemy uses against me. To keep me in my sin. I want to speak life into people. I want my daughter and husband to feel safe when I speak. If I don’t let the power of God overtake my tongue, I will bring death and destruction. 

I’m too weak to do it myself. So I’m praying this Pslam everyday:

Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips – Pslam 141:3 

Thank you Jesus for redeeming my brokenness. I know I will always fail to be perfect in my words, but you still renew. You bring wholeness and redemption to those that I hurt. Teach me your ways, and help me give life through my words.